Nothing Good Happens After Midnight

Apparently a lot of people have never been told that nothing good happens after midnight. It was a mantra of my mother; I don't know how so many other people failed to get it.

An intestinal constriction sent us to the Emergency Room yesterday evening. Kev's better now, resting here at home and we'll call his regular doctors tomorrow to see if there's more to be done.
We're going to have to talk about timing too. New Year's Eve through the wee hours of New Year's Day in an emergency room is a trip.

Driving him to the hospital late on New Year's Eve, I was acutely aware that an ice storm was in the forecast, it was rookie night for all the uninitiated drunk drivers and anyone with any seniority (read "experience") in the ER had the night off.

We would be getting the reserve team. It was a night shift on a major holiday--this might be the reserves of the reserve team.

Even the Assbackward Optimist in me was having trouble spinning the possibilities into a positive outlook.

There was one overworked medical assistant doing initial work ups and a waiting room filled with snot, ace bandages and exhausted looking people. The MA impressed me by recognizing that Kevin was in bad shape and bumping him up the priority list. Got a very good radiologist and a decent doctor too. Not bad at all for the reserves, good actually. Was a little disconcerted to get a nurse who had never accessed an implanted port before and didn't know how to do it.

Kevin resisted the urge to take the huber needle from her and pop it in himself. Nurses were in short supply last night and once we had one in our grip, we weren't letting her escape to leave us waiting for another.

She could be taught.

I had a laminated card in my bag with printed instructions, hours of online reading to teach myself how to handle his port and countless times of watching other nurses do it. Piece of cake, we assured her. Kevin closed his eyes and tried to convince himself he was anywhere but in an ER on New Year's Eve with his wife explaining to a nurse how to do a medical procedure on him.

His eyes were wide open after that though. We arrived before midnight and were on hand to see the array of humanity which tripped through the doors as midnight drew near and then passed.

At least it provided some distraction through the long hours.

From around 11:45 to 4 a.m. a steady stream of former revelers filled the beds. A guy in cuffs and leg chains who spat at his police escorts and kicked out at anything or anyone he passed. A drunk college girl who flitted between singing rowdy songs and crying for her mother. Victims of knifings and street fights. Drunk drivers.

Just after the clock had ticked down to midnight and the New Year, Kevin was hearing the now familiar sound of a latex glove snapping onto a hand and a voice saying, "Roll over on your side, I want to check your..."

I wasn't surprised. Nothing good happens after midnight.