Ash Wednesday

Walked into the church and caught the eye of our neighbor, the school teacher, so we sat with her.

I'll be volunteering in her classroom soon. I'm not certain how these things happen, other than that it's Lent. You're supposed to take on new burdens, step out of your comfort zone, grow a little.

Ms. Maria, the teacher, asked what I was giving up for Lent.
"I gave up my whole freakin' life and moved here."

Ok, that's a little unfair and untrue. I only thought it, didn't say it. But I did have to admit to Nothing. That's what I'm giving up for Lent. Doing nothing. Thus, the classroom volunteering.

Anyway, I was sitting there at Mass tonight, watching the children being carried, pushed, pulled and prodded, up to the priest to be marked with ashes and I remembered Hannah and Ash Wednesday.

2002. Hannah was not quite 3 years old as Lent began that year. She was at the evening service with us and very reluctantly allowed Father Andy to mark her forehead with ashes. Her eyes were huge as she watched him mark my forehead. As we returned to the pew, she tugged at me.
"I have to go potty. NOW!"

You don't ignore the urgent warnings of a barely trained 3 year old so I hustled her off to the bathroom. She headed for the sink rather than a stall, climbed up the sink and peered into the mirrow. I could see indignation on her face as she moved her bangs back to reveal the cross of ashes.

"He DIRTED me!"

It was beyond bedtime as we left the church and I thought she was asleep in my arms, head on my shoulder. I learned differently, though, as we passed Father Andy and I heard a muffled little voice whisper, "DIRTER!"
Hannah went with me to St. Tom's on Ash Wednesday every year after the "dirter" incident. For another 5 years, I would tell her the story and, through those years, her understanding of Ash Wednesday, of Lent, of becoming clean through faith, her sure and simple faith, surpassed my own.

Headlines

I caught a line on a news ticker on AOL tonight. "Somber Pics of Town Devastated by Job Cuts" Somehow I knew it was going to be our town:

http://www.pixcetera.com/pixcetera/ohio-town-faces-economic-collapse/47316?icid=200100397x1218784565x1201226665

Welcome to my job search environment. I have a lot of company.

The Woodstove Flapjacks +One

Kate joined James and the band onstage at their CD release party just over a week ago. Kevin posted a couple of videos on youtube. Check them out at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-u79I5HVm4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cP6kUc0QUE

NED who???

This turned up in our email, courtesy of our friend John, a retiree from the law enforcement arena.

(Regarding Ned Schmed aka; Nedly Schedly) Being suspicious in nature, a trait that carries over from my law enforcement days, I decided to do a background check on NED. Ned has many faces and plays many rolls, be careful – be very very careful…
1 Ned is a derogatory term Ned is a derogatory term applied to certain young people in Scotland, akin to the term chav in England. The stereotypical view of a Ned is a white adolescent male, of working class background, who wears fake brand names (particularly Burberry), who engages in hooliganism, petty criminality, loutish behavior, underage drinking and smoking or general anti-social behavior. Ned’s are often assumed to be unemployed. Wikipedia
2 Ned is a global, all-volunteer group Ned is a global, all-volunteer, member-governed, online social network (in combination with real-world locations) that is made up of social entrepreneurs, activists, artists, social purpose enterprises, grassroots nonprofit, non-governmental, and community-based organizations, and is collaborating and taking action locally, nationally & globally, in order to make the world a better place. NED.com
3 Ned is a quality elevation dataset The USGS National Elevation Dataset (NED) has been developed by merging the highest-resolution, best quality elevation data available across the United States into a seamless raster format. USGS
4 Ned is the National Endowment for Democracy NED the National Endowment for Democracy is a private, nonprofit organization created in 1983 to strengthen democratic institutions around the world through nongovernmental efforts. National Endowment for Democracy
5 Ned is a college book store
6 Ned is a company traded on the stock exchange NOAH EDUCATION ADSb(NYQ: NED)
7 NED (aka: Nedski - Ned Luberecki is a banjo picker. Welcome to Nedski.com, this is the web home of banjo player Ned Luberecki. Ned is currently the banjo player for Chris Jones and the Night Drivers, Larry Cordle and Lonesome Standard Time and occasionally tours as second banjoist with the Tony Trischka Double Banjo Bluegrass Spectacular Band. Ned was formerly the banjoist for The Rarely Herd, The Gary Ferguson Band, Radio Flyer, Paul Adkins and the Borderline Band and the Apocalyptic Cowboys.Ned is now teaching private banjo lessons exclusively at The East Nashville School of Music and is also a popular instructor at music camps such as Nashcamp, Camp Bluegrass, Acoustic Music Camp, The Smoky Mountian Banjo Academy, American Banjo Camp and the Midwest Banjo Camp. Check out the links section of this page for more information. Ned is now an instructor at BluegrassCollege.org.
8 Ned is a chaisaw guy (???) http://www.nedthechainsawguy.com/
9 Ned is an Engineering University in Pakistan The NED University of Engineering and technology is the oldest institution now in Pakistan for teaching and turning out Graduate Engineers.
10 Ned is popular School Assembly show. Ned is the character used by the SuperYo demonstrators to teach about character and becoming a champion in life at school assemblies. The "NED" program is done all over the US by many relatively unknown yo-yo players. NED is an acronymn for: Never give up! Encourage others! Do your best! http://www.thenedshow.com/

I've been aware that other cancer patients we know have found NED to be a fickle friend at best. Not necessarily reliable. I think NED's going to get fully onboard with Project Kevin. We're nice people. We're fun. We're smart, entertaining. If the good company doesn't do it, then the food will. Whole bran muffins. With blueberies. And pecans. I've offered NED my pillow, the center of the bed. Regular check-ups with Dr. Skinner.

Thank you, John, for the run down on NED, the encouragement, the prayers. And the laughs. Always for the laughs!

Another Job Possibility Slides Down the Icy Road....

Camp Joy called this morning. I didn't get the job. Went to the other candidate; who, I've learned, is on the board of directors at the local YMCA and the Area Planning Commission. I'll be darned if they didn't go with the more qualified candidate. Where's their sense of adventure, risk taking, living dangerously? Pity? I could have been their poster child for giving opportunity to the undeserving and under qualified.

NED Schmed

Leftover meatloaf, breakfast of champions. The kind made with hamburger. From a cow. None of the pasty looking turkey stuff. And not that 95% fat free ground beef either. This is hamburger with a nice greasy feel to it.

My rationale is that NED is supposed to be sticking to Kev like a bur. So he can't be here judging me and the meatloaf. He's in Kev's office, judging Kev and the illicit Pepsi I know is perched on the edge of Kev's desk.

Do you hear me, NED? Pepsi! Probably a 16 oz. bottle! And I'll bet there are chocolate Hostess cupcakes in the bottom drawer. You think you've got time to fixate on my breakfast when Kev's got chocolate melted on his fingers, cake crumbs inhis moustache and Pepsi on his breath?

Just so you don't think I've totally discounted NED's lessons, the meatloaf is covered in ketchup. I think the Reagan administration brought us ketchup as a vegetable. Which means I am having a serving of vegetables with my breakfast. And grains. There's oatmeal holding all that greasy hamburger together. Don't the oatmeal people run some ad about it being heart healthy and full of fiber?

NED, I'm doing you proud.

NED

There's a new guy in town. NED. Kevin's new life partner. We're a threesome now.

Not generally known for my sharing nature, I'm willing to scoot over and give NED his own pillow in the warm, snugly center of our bed. Whatever it takes to keep him around. No guest room, no temporary status or short term visits. NED is being embraced, possibly hugged til he chokes, with wide open arms.

NED is one of those guys we didn't appreciate when we first knew him. He's quiet, low key, unassuming. The kind of stable influence you take for granted and assume will always be around until he isn't.

The antithesis of Cancer.

Cancer took over our lives like the house guest from hell. Dropped in uninvited, trashed the place and drained our wallets. We used every means possible to uproot Cancer; we isolated him, fed him toxic cocktails, turned up the heat in his room with radiation and cut off his funding. Our mission was to send him packing and change our address so Cancer could never find Kevin again.

NED, on the other hand, is being wooed with breakfasts of sticks and twigs and fresh berries. Whole grain breads. Organic veggies. Fresh air and a plethora of experts trained to anticipate NED's every need. I bake bran muffins for NED, with raisins and cranberries. What now passes for chili in our house has no meat in it and double the beans. We entice NED to stay with a refrigerator full of anti-oxidants, probiotics and other formerly foreign words. He sticks around through the occasional lapses into BigMacs and pepperoni pizza.

It's working. Donna called today from the cancer center. Kevin's most recent PET/CT scans are "clear, absolutely fine."

No Evidence of Disease. NED

Thanks, NED, for sticking around. And thanks to each of you for your prayers and continued support.

Perfect Numbers

I published the post about Kevin's blood work results a little late...it was in the midst of when he was feeling very sick and I was feeling very frustrated. So I'll repost them now instead of having you dig back through posts.

First number column is the current result, second shaded column is the previous result so you can see how things are changing. CEA level is considerably lower which is what we want. Other numbers tell us he is recovering from chemotherapy's beating.

"Perfect" is the very word Tangie used to describe the results when she phoned us.

That's what we want to hear. Perfect.

Job Possibility, Part II

I had another interview for the camp position today. Administrative Coordinator. Today I met with the camp's Executive Director and the youth team member who handles clients and sales. I think they're laboring under some misconceptions about how much the childcare business paid. There was a comment made about being concerned I would love the job, hate the money and move on. The Youth Director told me yesterday that it is down to myself and another candidate. I don't know the other candidate and I do know that almost anyone has more qualifying experience than me. But I'm still convinced this job and I are a perfect match.

PET/CT Day, Part II

Kevin's souvenir of the day; a card warning of his potential radioactive status. Seems there's concern that PET patients might set off the radioactivity sensors some airports and government buildings now use.

The card is supposed to make him--and everyone nearby--feel secure in the event of a beeping, bell ringing alarm sounding as he goes in to buy stamps at the local post office.

We live in one of those small towns with a simple sense of justice. I'm pretty sure they shoot radioactive folks around here. I can't see the local sheriff being willing to touch the card from the radioactive guy, much less dial the number on the back to check it out. And who wants to sit next to the guy who set off the radioactivity sensor at Cincinnati's airport?

"But he has a card!"

That'll make everyone feel better. You know they're not going to blame a flock of birds if that plane goes down in the Ohio.


"Well, we found no evidence of feathers in the recovered engines, but we did find this card....."

PET/CT Day

Kevin has a PET/CT today, part of the ongoing observation. Used to be 5 years total, now it's 5. somethingorother before he's considered "cured."

Our cancer center doesn't have dedicated PET/CT facilities (but it's likely getting one soon) so the mobile truck is brought in twice a week. Used to be once a week--the increase means the cancer center is becoming recognized as a good place for treatment. And, sadly, that cancer continues to increase it's presence among us.

The injection Kevin receives is called FDG-18; it's a sugar and a radioactive element. The sugar bonds with the active metabolic processes in Kev's body (cancer cells are outrageously metabolically active and will show up as 'hot spots', especially when other metabolic processes are slowed down through fasting and resting) and the radionuclide gives off gamma rays which are detected by the PET machine.

You got all that, right? It's the only cool thing that comes with cancer. I get to use words like "radionuclide" in a sentence.

So PET measures chemistry in his body while the CT side of the scan measures anatomical structure. Put together and we get a 3-D view inside his body that differentiates between structure like scar tissue from surgery or radiation and metabolically active cells which may indicate new cancer growth.

It's very cool technology and pretty definitive in terms of telling us what's going on with his body. We should get the results in a week or so. Or experience has been that bad news comes in faster on these things than good news so we're in no hurry to get a phone call.