After 49 years I think I have a good grasp of the English language. I generally make myself understood and I don't have to reach too far to understand what it is I'm hearing. And then I run into a phrase like "I'm not blowing smoke up your ass" and I have to mentally stop the conversation while I play the tape back to figure out whattheheck that means.
"I'm not blowing smoke up your ass."
Who said that in the first place? Who says it now with a straight face? Who looked at all the words offered in the language and thought, "Wow, this really conveys what it is I'm trying to say!"
Same with "Piss up a rope." What does that mean anyway? I know what it intends, but what does it mean? Is it more user friendly than, say, "Go Away" or even "Kiss Off." I don't think so.
Gads, I know I'm old when some of these phrases are more idiot than idiom.
As long as my mind is in wander mode, I also encountered "meteoric rise" in the newspaper this week. Don't meteors fall? Did some writer decide this was a tit for tat (and whatthehell is tit for tat. Tits I know, tats I'm not so sure about) thing? If someone had a meteoric fall into obscurity then someone else could surely have a meteoric rise to fame?
"At the end of your rope." "One foot in the grave." Those are implicit, maybe even explicit with normal cognition. I even get "rainin' like a cow pissin' on a flat rock." It makes sense. I can visualize it. The others? They're all Greek to me.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Splintered Posts
Alrighty then, so I'm not that good at keeping promises. Like the one to myself where I was going to get back to regular blogging. Not that the masses having been waiting on the edges of their collective seats for word from me, but blogging does keep me from murdering harming the (relatively, I mean if you made it into my blog you're not exactly innocent...) innocent out of sheer boredom. Those of you who are foolish, bored, righteous, curious enough to continue coming here deserve just what you get.
There is truth in the old axiom "You get what you paid for..."
*OD/Godder gets major props today for tenacity and general stick-to-it-even-if-what-you're-sticking-to-is-being-a-crazy-as-a-loon-pain-in-the-butt-edness. I mean it's been how long since I've posted with any regularity (watch out, there are many unpublished posts lurking in the wings and who knows when they might start showing up) and he still manages to attempt a comment post a couple of times a week.
I invite him to stick around because he entertains me. Let's keep in mind that a line of dancing ants on the kitchen counter entertains me so my standards aren't high these days. However, I have to offer this caveat to *OD/Godder and others who might wander through: If you are easily offended you might want to put one hand over your delicate eyes and read cautiously through a slit between your fingers. But first drop me a comment line and tell me why? ?? Why the hell are you here if you're easily offended?? It's obvious by now that I'm easily offensive so why do it to yourself??
Once you're good with that concept, please pull up a chair and stay awhile. I rarely publish comments but I do read all of them carefully and with consideration. Wouldn't want to miss a golden opportunity to pull a (blog) post out of my splintered eye.
There is truth in the old axiom "You get what you paid for..."
*OD/Godder gets major props today for tenacity and general stick-to-it-even-if-what-you're-sticking-to-is-being-a-crazy-as-a-loon-pain-in-the-butt-edness. I mean it's been how long since I've posted with any regularity (watch out, there are many unpublished posts lurking in the wings and who knows when they might start showing up) and he still manages to attempt a comment post a couple of times a week.
I invite him to stick around because he entertains me. Let's keep in mind that a line of dancing ants on the kitchen counter entertains me so my standards aren't high these days. However, I have to offer this caveat to *OD/Godder and others who might wander through: If you are easily offended you might want to put one hand over your delicate eyes and read cautiously through a slit between your fingers. But first drop me a comment line and tell me why? ?? Why the hell are you here if you're easily offended?? It's obvious by now that I'm easily offensive so why do it to yourself??
Once you're good with that concept, please pull up a chair and stay awhile. I rarely publish comments but I do read all of them carefully and with consideration. Wouldn't want to miss a golden opportunity to pull a (blog) post out of my splintered eye.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Welcome Back
Forty-four days of no new posts. I have a bunch written off line and awaiting my editor skills. I'll get to them one of these days. Tonight I'm fulfilling a promise to myself to get back to regular posting. Barely in under the wire as it's pushing midnight, but better late than never. Or so they say.
Welcome back to me.
Welcome back to me.
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