"Here's Your Sign..."

Why does life continue to throw so many insane, crappy,outrageously ridiculous, stupid interesting, yet unbloggable, moments my way? Things I can't mock chronical online lest world peace be compromised, the global economy become unstable or potential employers refuse to ever give me a job.

Oh wait...

Anyway, the "here's your sign, stupid" moments of interaction with real life others will have to be saved for in person whispers and swearing to never reveal. Sometimes even changing the names is not enough to protect the idiotic. All of which means you, gentle reader, are left with the undirected wanderings of my mind.

Dear Universe, Karma, Fate, *OD/God,
If a woman eats the cookies she made for the missionary bake sale, will she end up in a black hole, be reincarnated as a housefly or go to hell? What if she's me? I'm not really saying either way but, just in case my overall self has been so bad lately that the cookie eating would be a deal breaker, it would be good to know.
In the interest of total honesty, she also saved the best two ears of corn for her dinner tonight from the 2 dozen she was preparing for the freezer today.
To build her own defense, the bake sale has been postponed indefinitely and she'll make some new fresh cookies (plus a few) when it is rescheduled. But you should already know that part because you are whatever/whoever you are.

L.

PS If you can't ring up with a direct answer, please send a sign. Can you at least give me some odds on how much further I'll be in if the last chocolate cupcake comes up missing?

PSS Please don't send bugs as a sign. Or a flood. Or global warming or perpetual darkness. Let's keep it simple; maybe a post-it on the frig.