Shades of Gray

Kevin and I "see" God's involvment in our lives through different eyes.

He sees God as a hands on manager where every decision has a right or wrong answer. Whatever the question is, there is one answer that conforms to God's will and a million others that do not.

I see God as knowning what I'm going to do in any given moment and knowing how it's going to work out, but not having laid the plan to the point of having a particular will for every detail.

So deciding about continued chemotherapy has become a struggle for Kevin to determine what God's will might be.

Sounds like a no-win crapshoot to me and I don't like things were the odds are against me at the get go. And I don't believe God does either. Where Kevin's relationship with God is black and white, mine is nothing but shades of gray.

Makes it interesting (and confusing) as we talk through these decisions about chemotherapy and radiation.