Be Less Obvious....

...that's my new motto after I fainted in Meijer today. Right in front of all the checkouts, face planted on the floor.

My mother would have told me that "nice girls don't draw attention to themselves" and been annoyed as hell with me for not timing things better.

Sorry, Mom.

I wanted to make a joke about being done in by the shock of seeing our grocery bill; however, even in a just fainted fog I could tell Kev's sense of humor was absent for the moment.

Kevin told me later that foremost in his mind was "If I over-react to this and make too big of a deal, she's going to kill me..."

He's right.

In our younger days of parenting Kevin was the "OHMYGOSH SHE'S BLEEDING" parent when one of the girls skinned a knee. I was the "Eh. Let's sleep on it--that arm could look a lot less broken by morning" parent.

(He's better, though, at the long haul than I am. I get through the moment, hit a wall and quit. Kevin recovers from the initial panic then keeps chipping at the wall until we're through.)

I'm telling myself that the real time vision of my face bump-bump-bumping down the front of a Meijer grocery cart was much more graceful--like a choreographed ballet--than it could possibly have been.

In reality I'm certain it was the sort of moment that makes winners on American's Funniest Home Videos.

The graceless landing left my face bruised from chin to forehead. I've been giving Kevin a hard time.

"Sweeney, you were supposed to catch me! Did you drop me flat on the floor?"

I think it may be payback for those cold early morning sponge baths in the hospital.

My mother would approve.