"family" Doesn't Always Swim in the Same Gene Pool

Weekend in Indiana.

Brother Patrick will be ordained and Miss Andrea is celebrating her 7th birthday.

We're looking forward to seeing each one--friends from St. Tom's, the kids from daycare, our girls, my family. The support of these people has kept us going through this last year and the way they've continued to be with us even over the distance between Lafayette and Cincinnati is humbling. Making the time and effort to call, to email, to send pictures from the kids, to ask how he is and listen to the answer, and to share with us what is going on in their days has eased many of Kev's worst days and kept me from feeling like I am alone in taking care of--in caring for--him.

Kevin has decided we'll miss the family gathering in Indianapolis. Mostly it's the fatigue of a long day of travel for Kevin. The drive over will wear him out and I expect him to nod off at the Cathedral. He doesn't feel like he can drive another 90 minutes then make it through an evening family gathering--which would be the first time he's seen much of his family since before his cancer, the first time he's talked to his brothers since before his cancer and one of the few times he's talked to his sisters. His mother is no longer able to keep track of who she sees when and she tires easily, especially in a crowded situation. We will stop to visit with her on another weekend.

So there we are at the other side of not going to the "Family" thing in favor of the family thing. The lingering hurt and bitterness about the neglect of Kevin aside--and it is an aside because it's a pop-up when something reminds us, not an ongoing gnaw inside--sometimes being "family" has nothing to do with a shared gene pool.

It has to do with sharing.