Snowy Memories

It's been snowing since mid-afternoon and everything has turned a serene white. The deer were up on the patio this evening, emptying the bird feeders. Kevin has kicked back on the man-couch, close to the fireplace, with his computer. I baked today and the apartment is filled with the smell of banana bread and snickerdoodles.

The snow makes me miss the littles from daycare. Their infectious excitement over the first hint of snowflakes in the air. Asking to go outside and play even through there's barely enough snow to leave a footprint. Haylee would have told me it was "Bee-YOU--tee-ful!" out and Ella would have already had one arm in her coat.

Maybe it's a just a nostalgic time of year. Flashback to five o'clock this afternoon. I was making the bread and thinking Hannah and Andrea would be home from school. Homework would be done and they would take over the mashing of bananas, the measuring of flour, the cracking of eggs.

I would have one loaf of bread for the effort; the other being devoured, hot from the oven, by eager little people with mugs of hot chocolate and Ready Whip.

So I can decide to be sad tonight because I miss it. All of it; the piles of soggy mittens, the sticky kitchen floor where an egg missed the bowl, the loaves of bread with a sneaky pinch missing from one edge. Littles with noses red from the cold and sticky fingers coated in flour. I miss them.

Or I can count my blessings, then and now. Smile at the memories of snowy days with the littles, enjoy the pleasures of snowy evenings by the fireplace with Kevin now.

I'm counting.