My List

I have a growing list of concerns. A doctor or clinic can be very capable but still not be a good "fit" for a particular person. I'm not sure this is the best place for Kevin. Maybe it's more general; maybe chemotherapy is like this everywhere. What the hell do I know about it.

A high patient/nurse ratio means a lot of tiring waiting for each patient. Forty-five minutes while an IV beeps notice that it is finished. Another 45 minutes before they get back to him with the infusion pump. His 3 1/2 hour day which had morphed into 4 1/2 hours was actually 5 1/2 hours.

Communication is poor. No explanation about accessing his port this first time. They just did it. No one double checked him and his medicine by name and birth date. No one told him what he was getting, just popped his port and started hanging IV bags. I asked every time and wrote down drugs and times, but the margin for error seems great to me. And we were given no home care instructions. A little information and a hand written phone number for getting help if something comes up with the pump. Nothing about handling nausea or other side effects at home. It felt very strange to be sent out with just a "See ya Wednesday" and a wave.

The oncologist was nowhere to be seen. The nurse practitioner was cutting through the infusion area once and responded to Kevin's nagging IV beep but never even looked at the guy hooked to the machine. Not even a 'hello.' That angered me. It was rude, it showed a complete lack of compassion for what this man was experiencing for the first time today and it was plain and simply bad customer service.

It's crowded and intense in noise and activity. There is really no room for someone to be with a patient although the nurses do not in any way make you feel like you're in the way. But you are. The windows are small and high on the wall which contributes to the closed in feeling. It smells intensely 'chemical' in there.

There's nothing horrible on my list. I know this. Cancer patients are already enduring so much though. They deserve better for having to endure so much for so long with nothing but uncertainty at the outcome. It's not how I want him treated. He's not part of a herd. He's one. My only one and I want them to know this.

I saw more than the effects of chemotherapy itself wearing on Kevin. The whole situation added to his stress. He doesn't need more to get through.