What Day Is It Today

Kevin's now evicted cancer and I had another conversation today. We used to talk on a regular basis, Cancer and I. Not so much anymore though. It was a relationship I was more than willing to shelve at the conclusion of Kev's chemotherapy. I suppose the three of us, Kevin, Cancer and Lorri are forever connected at this point but Kevin and I see it more from a bad neighbor gone away viewpoint.

I had it in my mind that Cancer and Lorri weren't going to dialogue again until at least sometime in October when Kevin is due for a check-up and follow-up PET. And my plans had our future conversations being one sided affairs where I reminded Cancer that the big guns are all on our side. Sort of a mental raspberry blown in Cancer's direction.

So much for planning.

I had another appointment with my shiney new doctor today and she re-introduced the arch-enemy, Cancer. It's just a suggestion at this point, a concern, a worry. A possibility on the list of possibilities we are slowly eliminating.

Apparently she doesn't understand the rule about not saying the word lest you summon the demon.

So I have more lab tests, another ultrasound, another type of biospy, a hysteroscopy and D & C. THEN we decided what we're going to actually do to fix things.

All proof that the world is run by insurance companies. Only an insurance company could rationalize an approach where we spend twice as much money on a handful of relatively useless things to get to the point of spending money on what's actually going to tell us something.

And work down a list where the tests and results get exponentially crappier.

On the plus side, in my ever assbackward optimism, I'm not particularly worried. It is whatever it is. The last year with Kevin has taken the edge off that bit of panic.