Blog Posts Past

I must be sinking into hormonal morbidity. I tear up over everything. Today it was watching the fawns by the woods. Thinking that I had seen this little family come full circle since I moved here. Their moms are the fawns I watched grow through last summer.

Not content to beat myself up with the present, my trip down memory lane took me trolling through August blog posts past.

8/2007. Kevin is newly diagnosed with cancer. The blog becomes an easy way for family and friends to stay informed of his progress. And it gives me a place to rant and rave and be thankful all at once. And probably keeps me from squeezing the life out of a few Dead Doggers.

8/2008. Kevin is immediately post-chemotherapy. We ride our bikes again. He can sit down in the evening and stay awake for 30 minutes instead of 3. Ice cream returns to his menu while he figures out how to live with what we'll find out are permanent side effects. I'm measuring how to put a life back together post-cancer caregiver.

Long, drawn out days to 8/2009 Fast forward to 8/2009. We've settled into what Kevin calls "our new normal." He's still working through the change of side effects. He appreciates little things he was so surprised cancer disrupted. Being able to have ice in his drink. Smells that smell right. Taking a weekend nap instead of a daily nap. I've realized you can't reassemble the same life post-cancer because some of the pieces got misplaced in the process and some of them don't fit anymore. So you put together a new puzzle. Bring some of the good from those innocent, pre-cancer,days. And some of the bad too, just so you don't ever get complacent again. Wiggle around the new pieces, flex the old ones until you find the fit. Figure out what I want to do now that I'm all grown up....