Dear So and So...

Dear Person Who So Miserably Failed to Understand the Concept of Leadership--"Sam, there are three people on this staff that I always stuck up for--Steve, Sue and Sally" was really no way to say goodbye to the fourth member of the staff . Bad mouthing TPTB, those who hold your paycheck--and now your severance--in the pages of their account books, is also bad karma. By the way, the moment you demand respect--and fail to exhibit it toward others, above and below your position--you have disqualified yourself from deserving it. You might find some insight in this that reveals why you were let go yesterday. And, just so you know, Gumby is not saying you are #1 as he waves goodbye. Not at all, at all.

*****

Dear Sam--Did you wake up this morning with a job to go to? And who didn't? I think that about covers it. But if you want to send your Gumby to my house, I'll fix him up with a special wave too.

*****

Dear Catless Person--I don't really care if it was the economy or a hard heart that caused you to throw her away in the woods out back. She's hungry and lost and looking in my window for her family. You suck.
*****
Dear Husband--Storing the hideous apple streusel fiber bars in the box labeled "Oats and Chocolate" fiber bars is just mean. Isn't it punishment enough that there are fiber bars in my pantry instead of Hershey bars? I should have listened when my nose tried to warn me as I opened it. Instead I had to spit saliva sticky apple streusel fiber bar into my hand. And rinse my mouth out with alcohol. I suggest you check your shoes.