Dear So and So...

Dear September 11, Nine Eleven, Nine One One--You are many things to me. The lovely autumn day our family and friends gathered at an outdoor chapel to watch my sister and new brother-in-law exchange their wedding vows. Exactly six years later we gathered in another location as our oldest daughter was married. That same September 11th was the last birthday a dear sister-in-law celebrated with us. Just as you were about to arrive again she lost a battle with cancer, leaving behind a grieving family including her 3 young children. We gathered that September 11th to begin saying goodbye. I thought we had seen the full course for one date. Intense joy and unbelieveable sadness.
And the next year you arrived again. You were a glorious fall morning. Crisp, not cold, not hot. Brilliant blue sky, white clouds. Full of promise. 9/11/01. Our daughter was pregnant with our first grandchild. I remember our son-in-law phoning from Michigan. He was in a meeting with no access to TV. Could I turn on the TV and tell him what had happened? The children in the daycare were playing around the room and the older kids migrated toward the TV once it was on. I had to turn it off. Both for the kids and for myself. We went outside to play. I remember sitting on the swing with a little one on my lap and one on each side as we watched the other children play. I heard the giggles, the little arguments. The pretending and the planning. And I could not stop thinking about the children in New York, Washington, other places, who had lost parents that day. Who had kissed their moms, their dads, goodbye that morning for the last time. Who had no one coming to pick them up from daycare.
You've changed us, September 11th. Again and again. Some of us have become tougher, harder, because of you. Some of us have become more vulnerable, softer around the edges, because of you. You've brought us together and torn us apart.
I'm sorry you are forever aligned with the sadness and tragic moments that have come to be you in our minds. Because today you dawned again. Crisp and bright and full of promise.
Thank you. May we all work to be the fulfillment of that promise.

Thanks to Kat for writing a poignant letter that helped me put my list of petty pickiness into perspective this day.